Dating In Medical School Site:www.reddit.com
- Medical school can ruin perfectly good relationships for you. I was dating an amazing woman who was a classmate. We were friendly the first two years of medical school and then started dating after she broke up with her prior boyfriend. We were a good match for each other and really clicked; it was my best relationship to date.
- Plus all the unavoidable run ins with school. Not ideal for trying to move past a relationship. Then I dated someone outside of medicine during M3. It was great to really be able to disconnect from medicine with that person (as opposed to the other relationship, which focused significantly on medical school).
- Medical school is tough and will not leave you with the kind of time and emotional space necessary to nurture and maintain a healthy relationship. And it's a comparative walk in the park compared to the early years of residencies; there's a reason most marriages do not survive residency.
So long story short, matched with a 21 year old Female, on OkCupid, I am a 30 Male. We chatted for a bit, but it was sporadic and spotty at best. She gave me an area code that matched the area in my state that her profile said she was from, and I started to text her. We sent a few explicit photos back and forth, in which the photos were of a skinny 21 year old femalt, and she immediately wanted to meet me, but still the communication was fragmentary at best. I did not go out to see her. Only for me to get a text message from her 'father' 5 days after having last spoken to 'her' about how she was underage.
I asked multiple times for him to confirm her age,and he just brushed me off saying it was a concern, and that I wasn't taking the situation seriously enough, and that she had attacked his 'wife' and tore an earring out of the 'wife's' ear. He said he would call me back after he talked with his 'wife' 20 minutes later he calls me back and says that he doesn't want to involve the cops, and asks me to pay the medical and EMT bills.
Medical School and Relationships. Medical school is an extremely stressful and for most of us frankly a horrible time. Deadlines, anxiety, subjective evals by attendings, useless school administrations, a huge volume of material to cover it's a recipe for. Official Medical Discord Server for Students. Come join us at The Medical Field, the official Discord server for medical and allied health students. Our main base of operation is on Discord, where you can chat live with other students! Please join us by clicking here: If you don't have a Discord account, no worries!
I told him that I would gladly do it, once he sent me copies of his 'daughters' ID card, police report for the assault and the hospital bills. He told me that he wasn't going to send me any identification, even after chewing me out for not asking about an easily falsified age. He then responded that he would just have to turn the phone over to the detectives.
Sdn Med Student
I am just sick of this shit, I am sick of the catfishing, the scams, the lies and deception. Seriously fuck OLD, it is a cancer.
I have been with my significant other, who is a future (hopeful) medical student, for nearly 24 months. My SO and I are comfortably in our 30’s and we both very much love each other without any doubt. During the duration of our relationship the one value I have learned during his medical school journey is quality vs. quantity, I learned this during his accelerated MSP3. My significant other never goes short on quality time either for which I love him very much for.
Anyways, as any good boyfriend would do I am constantly researching the whole process to be as prepared and supportive as I can be. The research ends up being so useless once you begin experiencing first-hand in real life, and for all you medical students dealing with the application process I have the most empathy for you.
Last week was probably one of the most heart wrenching weeks I have experienced with my SO as he had an interview and was informed he would have an answer within a few days after. I was there when the notification prompt on his phone with the decision letter, it was an experience that didn’t require him to read it out loud to me as I literally watched his heart sink to the ground. Waitlisted. What a beautifully crafted letter speaking highly of you to only destroy you in the end. Waitlisted is better than a rejection, right? No. What was I to say or do during his emotional process of this decision? I realized in that moment that all I could do is tell him I am sorry and give him his space for anyone going through this is allowed to feel how they want to. This leads me to giving the best advice I can for those of you dating a prospective medical student.
Be prepared for the onslaught of rejections that will make them feel hopeless, unwanted, and above all not being good enough. This application process for prospective medical students is future bearing for them and they have a right to feel as they want in that moment. DO NOT tell them it will all be okay and work out in the end, you will be met with “what are you psychic” response. Truthfully, you don’t know what the future holds for them so it isn’t fair.
Medical students know exactly how competitive medical school is, so they have to know their strengths and weaknesses very well. Don’t try to downplay their weaknesses because you love them instead be a head they can bounce ideas off of to overcome them before an interview. From what I have learned every medical school has different requirements or desired experiences from prospective students. For example, School A may want someone with more research, while School B wants someone with more clinical hours.
Be understanding and patient. My SO is glued to his phone constantly refreshing that email. The anticipation for a response is incredibly stressful. You can attempt to offer some distractions but pressuring just leads to more added stress.
Space. There are times my significant other won’t admit it to me because he fears hurting me but you as their lover should know when it’s needed. Trust me you will know when this is needed by the amount of unusual tension in their voice.
Expect their cortisol levels to be high. Cortisol is really good at shutting down the reproductive system. Don’t feel like you are insufficient or they lost attraction for you because their libido is down due to immense stress. Instead, offer a nice soothing bath or massage to help bring down that stress level.
These are my experiences thus far dating a medical student. I’m excited for what’s ahead.
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Feel free to add to the list of Do’s and Don’ts prospective medical students as it will be helpful.