Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site

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After 2.5 years of being in a committed (but probably very unhealthy) relationship, I once again find myself single and living in a new city by myself. What better place to be single and hunting for love again than the city of Brotherly Love, right?

Since I met my previous boyfriend online, I decided to give it one more go. I spent a few weeks building my profile and answering questions about myself (some rather pointless, some incredibly personal) to build up my match percentage. Then, I posted pictures of myself as I am today, curly twist-out, brown skin, red lipstick, and dark purple glasses. Surely, if my appearance did not tickle anyone’s fancy, my personality would score me some points. Or so I thought.

As myself, I initially received some messages, mostly overly-sexualized in nature. I reached out to a couple other men but quickly realized that I probably wouldn’t be receiving a message from any of them. I noticed that although most men would not message me back, the only ones who would occasionally respond were Black men (my own ethnicity) and Hispanic/Latino men. Not one White, Asian, Pacific Islander, Indian, or Middle Eastern man would message me, regardless of how much effort I put into the message.

Here are the five most important characteristics of a great online dating profile: They’re sincere. A great dating profile makes you want to learn more about a person because it seems genuine and real. You get the idea that this profile reflects a person with real interests and aspirations, not just a robot. They use humour. Three people with forms of muscular dystrophy talk about what it's like to look for love.

It seemed that I was guilty of ODWB: Online Dating While Black.

I started reading articles about online dating as a Black woman and what I read was incredibly disheartening. I ran into articles on the Huffington Post, Madame Noir, and the Washington Post which all confirmed my experiences; Black women received less interaction on online dating than women of other ethnicities. I read one article on Madame Noir entitled My Week as a White Woman on a Dating Site written by Christine Mwaturura, in which a woman did just that; created a profile on a dating website which highlighted her own personality but the picture was of a white woman that she called Stephanie. The writer found that although she may have received more profile views than “Stephanie,” “Stephanie” received more emails, more quality emails, and slightly better quality in matches. Mwaturura’s article inspired me to do something similar.

I wish I had thought of this earlier so that I could’ve planned my pseudo-experiment a little better but this is what I did. I modified the pictures and ethnicity in my profile but changed nothing else about the profile (likes/dislikes, hobbies, education, location, personality). After I spent the aforementioned few weeks as myself on this site and tried to cope with the dismal and disheartening results, I decided to modify my pictures and ethnicity so that I would appear to be an ethnic mix of Black and White.

I took the pictures that I had originally posted on the dating website as myself and edited them to lighten my skin color. I changed my ethnicity to both Black and White. I left my profile like this for 24 hours and was shocked at the results. Over the course of 24 hours, the mixed version of me had received 51 Visits, 14 Messages, and 9 Likes. In 24 hours, mixed me had received more attention and had more messages initiated than I had received as myself. At this point, I decided to see, like Mwaturura, how this would change if my pictures and ethnicity both showed me as a White woman.

One of my friends was kind enough to let me use two of her pictures. I took down my “mixed pictures,” replaced them with pictures of her (a White woman), changed my ethnicity to White, and didn’t change anything else about my profile. I left this profile up for 24 hours. In this time, I received 106 Visits, 19 Messages, and 27 Likes. I noticed a few things this time. Those who were mainly viewing my profile and sending messages were White and Asian men. I also noticed that these messages made less reference to my general appearance and more reference to information found in my profile. I messaged one man as myself (Black), asked him a question, and received no response. Three days later as the White version of myself, this same man initiated a message which made no mention to the question I had asked some days earlier but did comment on aspects of my picture and profile that he liked. It seems that he may have deleted the message I sent him, forgot about me, and then found me as the White version of myself and thought we might make a good match.

I acknowledge that some people just aren’t our, “type.” But what if by excluding matches based, in part, on ethnicity we are closing ourselves off to meaningful relationships? How can we tell ourselves that Iwe are absolutely, without a doubt, sure that we are not attracted to or will not be interested in someone of a specific ethnicity? There’s a paradox in our society in which we all pine for that special someone who will set our souls on fire but then we decide that that person must be a certain shade, height, age, gender, and have a specific eye color.

These results are concerning. What does this mean for Black women in a society that is quickly adopting technology as the only form of human interaction?

We can bank online so we don’t need to talk to anyone.

We can go to school online and never have to meet our classmates. Some jobs let you work from home so we spend less time in the office with our co-workers.

Hell, we can even order and pay for food online, walk in and pick it up, and not have to interact with a single human. I can’t imagine that online dating won’t be the most prevalent form of dating in a world that is turning more and more to technology. How will this affect the chances of Black women who want to date?

Finally, this sends a number of negative messages to Black women. It doesn’t matter how educated, eloquent, well-dressed, or beautiful you are. You’re still Black and that makes you not good enough. The overly sexual messages I received as myself as compared to the White version of me let me know that, as a Black woman, I am meant to be, “messed around with,” but as a White woman, my personality should be considered and I should be taken seriously.

I think the most important message we should gleam from this experience is that we need to break the barriers of dating related to physical appearance. We need to give people a chance based on their personality and not necessarily on the color of their skin.

For more reading on this topic:

• Black Women Face Prejudice Every Day. I Don’t Need it in Online Dating, Too, Emi Kolawole- https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/10/12/black-women-face-prejudice-every-day-i-dont-need-it-in-online-dating-too/

• My Week as a White Woman, Christine Mwaturura- http://madamenoire.com/586982/dating-site/

• The Perils of Dating on OkCupid While Black, Vanessa Willoughby- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/literally-darling/the-perils-of-dating-on-okcupid-while-black_b_5698351.html

When it comes to success in online dating, it all comes down to three things: your profile, your photos, and your strategy. With online dating apps split between discovery apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, and eHarmony knowing how to write the best dating profile for the dating app you are can be confusing.

In today’s blog, we are going to break down the basics of how to write a profile that attracts the people you want to meet.

How to Write a Profile for Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge

Discovery, or Swipe, apps changed the way people date when Tinder first came onto the market in 2012. Where you used to have to write a long profile, now you were limited to no more than 500 characters.

Also, instead of searching through profiles, you swiped through photos, only stopping to read the ones that grabbed your attention. The result is a type of dating that feels more like a video game.

This makes spending time on these apps easier, but it can make finding a connection on apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge that much harder.

What Are People Doing Wrong?

With only 500 characters on Tinder, 350 on Bumble, and only 150 per answer on Hinge, people feel like their only chance is to stand out with a profile so clever that the reader would want to not only swipe right but share it on their Instagram account.

This is the wrong way to go.

When you try to be clever or funny, it often just sounds forced and disingenuous. You don’t need to entertain the masses to get your profile swiped on. You just need to connect with people. You are never going to get a good connection with a sales pitch, and that’s what half the people on these apps are doing.

Sadly, the other half are just listing adjectives like features on a used car… because there’s nothing people want to read more than a list.

How do I write my Tinder or Bumble profile?

We will have a more in-depth post coming out on this soon, but the basics are pretty easy.

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site Template

• Forget the sales pitch
  • You can’t convince people to like you if there’s no connection. Just be yourself. It is the only way you will connect with the right people.
• Leave the list behind
  • Instead of filling space with a ton of useless adjectives, pick three things that matter to you. Write a full sentence for each one of them, giving context and color. That way you aren’t just saying you love concerts, you are creating a conversation starter by telling them about the best show you’ve ever been to or your dream concert. This context is what will grab people. If they liked your photos enough that they wanted to read your profile, this is the kind of stuff that will make them want to get to know you. Lists just don’t do that for you.
• Tell a story
  • If the previous suggestion doesn’t grab you, pick one thing, a story from your life that tells who you are. That’s the only thing you have to write about. When people read that, they’ll get a sense of who you are, and that will help them determine if they would actually want to spend time with you.
• Use the space they give you
  • I’m constantly amazed at how many people use less than 100 characters of their allotted space on their profiles. The number of characters between the number 3 and the start of this sentence is already 143. When you leave a profile blank, or you write the least amount that you think you can get away with, you show people that you don’t really care about how you present yourself and you are mainly focused on photos. Even if that was true, you’ll still have a much better rate of success if you put in that little bit of extra effort.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help
  • Whether you need an objective eye on your photos or you need help writing your Tinder/ Bumble profile, we’ve got you covered. We’ve created a suite of services specifically to help you improve your success with Tinder and Bumble. Check them out HERE.

How Do I Write My Hinge Profile?

Hinge is actually our favorite discovery dating app. While not as large as Tinder or Bumble, It has a design that is far more conducive to starting conversations and connecting than any of its discovery competitors. Here are two big tips that everyone needs to make sure they follow when they write their Hinge profile.

• Choose the right questions
  • When people call me for help with their Hinge profile, one of the first problems I notice is that they usually choose questions because they think other people want to read the answers, not because they had any interest in answering them. If you don’t pick questions that interest you, your answers are going to suck! It only takes five minutes to read through all of the questions they give you to choose from. If you don’t have an answer in your head for that question, pick a different one. If you have to sit and ponder what your answer should be to a question, you shouldn’t be trying to answer that profile question.
• Give full answers
  • There is no dating app where people are more guilty of one-word answers than on Hinge. You have 150 characters. It’s not a lot. It’s two letters more than I wrote in the last two sentences. When you answer a question, make sure you take the time to give your answer context. Instead of just saying you can’t live without Italian food, tell people that one special dish that always makes a bad day better for you.
• Call in the experts
  • If you get stuck on your Hinge profile, we’ve created a special service just for you. With this service, you can hop on the phone with one of our dating profile writers and have your new profile in as little as 20 minutes! Check it out HERE.

How to Write a Profile for Match, Pof, Zoosk, Harmony, or Okcupid

Traditional dating apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, eHarmony, and OKC are where most of the real relationship-seekers are when it comes to online dating. Most of these dating apps require a paid membership, and they all require a much longer profile than you’ll see on Discovery apps.

Another big thing to realize about these dating apps is that they draw a more mature crowd than discovery apps. I would not generally recommend any of these apps (other than OKC) to anyone under 32. With all of that in mind, here are some tips to help you write your dating profile:

• Show don’t tell
  • Most people are a recipe: I’m funny, outgoing, loyal, kind, athletic. People don’t want to eat the recipe, they want to eat the cake. Never list things about you. Take the list of things that you want to say, cut it in half, and then make sure that each of those things has a comment added to it that brings it to life and gives it context. That’s what will take you from flour, eggs, sugar, and cocoa to a moist, delicious chocolate cake.
• Watch your “I”s
  • You can make the world’s most interesting person sound like the world’s most boring person if every sentence about yourself starts with the word “I.” Make sure to use transitional phrasing in your sentences and it will do a much better job of creating a connection with prospective matches.
• Remember your audience
  • Most people think they need to write a profile that attracts the most people. That’s just wrong. Your profile should actually repel around 99% of the people who see it. The only people who matter are the ones with whom you share actual compatibility. Don’t worry about attracting everyone else.
• Don’t worry about funny, worry about you
  • People always ask me to make their profile funnier or more clever, but that’s not always the best plan. Funny and clever is great if you have a funny story to share or something that is naturally clever. Trying to force it into the profile just makes you sound like a salesman. If you really want to add humor, the best way is through an anecdote. Other than that, just focus on being yourself.
• Don’t ask for things that are normal parts of healthy relationships
  • You’ll often see people say they want to meet someone honest and loyal, or someone who doesn’t play games and is looking for a monogamous relationship. While all of these things sound reasonable, they are also things that you shouldn’t have to ask for. When you do ask, it makes it sound like you are still dealing with issues from past relationships where you were lied to or cheated on.
• Don’t write too little, or too much
  • The worst thing you can do in a traditional profile is to write the same kind of profile that you would for a discovery dating app. You have space. Use it! A good profile is going to be at least 150 words long. However, if it goes over 300 words, fewer people are going to be willing to read it.
• Give me a call
  • If you’ve read all these tips and still feel confused, or like you would rather have a professional take care of it for you, give e a call at 888-447-7634. We can talk about your concerns and come up with a plan to make sure you have a great dating profile. You can also check out all of our dating profile writing services HERE.

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site Crossword Puzzle

Bonus Tip For OKCupid and eHarmony Profiles

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site Interview

Unlike the other dating profiles, eHarmony and OKCupid break their profiles up into a series of questions.

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site Examples

It is really important that you answer EVERY question. This is not the time or place to get lazy. Take the time to answer them all, and make sure that you give full answers. One word answers are just going to make it look like you don’t really care about meeting someone.

Get Out There and Put Your Best Foot Forward with a Dating Profile That Stands Out From The Crowd

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Site Crossword Clue

Things To Mention In An About Myself For Dating Sites

That’s it for today. These are some of the core ideas behind how to write a great dating profile. If you’ve made it this far, but you are stuck, don’t worry. I’ve been helping singles with their dating profiles for the last sixteen years. I’m here for you.

Just give me a call at 888-447-7634, or send me a message HERE.